Tall Angry Monster

World Domination

8/6/2009 10:36 AM

I've reached the indisputable conclusion that tomato's are inherently evil. Is it so unreasonable to assume these plump red little bastards are up to no good? I think not.

First, consider their need to be in everything. Salsa, burgers, marinades, ketchup, etc, all contain tomatoey evil. Tomatos are in everything. They're in things you don't even know about. Second, consider the never ending dispute about their classification. Are they a fruit? Are they a vegetable? They taste like a vegetable, but somehow we're supposed to believe they're actually a fruit? Third, consider the taste. Do you like eating plain tomatos? I thought not.

In conclusion, tomatos are at a minimum, the spies of the garden world. They have access to classified vegetable plans for world domination AND access to international fruit defense systems. How do we know they're not secretly plotting to take over the world?

...Then again, who isn't these days?

That is 2 Ls