Tall Angry Monster

Smoking kills...Your Wang

02/17/2008 7:26 AM

I've never understood the cigarettes. It gives you a slight buzz. Woohoo. Nevermind that it makes you smell like shit, it's expensive, kills you in a plethora of ways, and makes you look like a tool. Have you ever made out with someone after a smoke? It's like licking a dirty ashtray. Even the word "cigarette" sounds a little gay. Which would you rather drive a truck...or a truckette?

I normally don't give people too much shit for smoking, because they say something stupid like "I'm just losing the shitty years of my life". But I recently read an enlighting article about a side effect I hadn't known about. Smoking increases your chances of erectile dysfunction by up to 41%. And worse, its PERMANENT damage. So if you quit, your penis won't magically get better. Its fucked...or not actually.

If studies suddenly found that video games, guitar, and being an asshole caused ED, I'd be finding some new hobbies in a hurry, and those are my favorite things to do. So I'm suggesting that we get some new warning labels for cigarette packages. Its easy to ignore words like "Emphasema", because people are idiots. But I'm pretty sure EVERY guy recognizes the words "Erectile Dysfunction".

Why am I not the surgueon general?

The SURGEON general?
You can't even spell.

Apparently I made a typo previously, and spelled "surgeon" with an extra 'u'. According to Russ, THAT is why I can't be surgeon general. Screw that. If special Bush Jr. is smart enough to be president, I'm smart enough for like... mega ultra global dictator general of the universe

That is 2 Ls