Tall Angry Monster

Gears of Jesus

11/18/2008 10:36 AM

There's been an insane amount of Gears played at my house lately. Seriously, like addiction/rehab kind of a lot. My festive roommie (codename Metro) played for 9 hours straight on the crack addictive Horde mode. Sure this game doesn't have the same junkies that WoW has, but that's like comparing smokers to meth freaks. One is a little easier to spot than the other, but they've both got (erectile or otherwise) problems.

I love the game, but I still found a few things comical. In the campaign, there's entire sections where you're essentially just there for the ride, but you really can't die. I watched dozens of giant machines and hundreds of men get decimated, then took on half the locust army with a tiny little tank. But my personal favorite is still the life saving shoulder tap.

Fuck medical school. I'm going to COG bootcamp, because apparently Jesus is teaching some personal shoulder tappin moves. Oh what's that? You've been shot in the face with an entire clip? Quit being such a pussy! *tap* You're good to go. Cancer? Don't worry about it. *tap*.... Oooo, you haven't eaten in a week? Hmmm, yeah, sorry, I'm gonna have to shoot you in the face.

- Mike

That is 2 Ls