Tall Angry Monster

Sarah Secret Password Barracuda

09/23/2008 11:44 AM

Question: "Mike are you getting political with this comic?"
Answer: No, I'm making fun of really really stupid shit. If Obama, Jesus or the Dalai Lama had done it, I'd still be laughing my ass off. Besides, I've found preaching political issues never does any good.

Question: Why?
Answer: I'm glad you asked. Let's explore the american voter in depth, shall we?

It all dates back to whenever the hell democracy started. At some point, some people decided two parties was the only way to roll. Shortly after, Candidate A rose in the polls by being an asshole. Candidate B, however, rose in the polls by being a liar. And Candidate C, well, he never had a chance at winning anyway. Not long after, came the birth of the three voter types.

Voter #1, The Know It All: This guy KNOWS his candidate is right. Why bother looking at evidence to the contrary, when you know you're right? Notarized video footage of your candidate raping the pope? That's probably just the damn media playing it up. Don't bother trying to convince Voter #1 of anything. He's too smart to be fooled by pesky things like reality.

Voter #2, The Undecided Voter: These guys don't waste their time reading history and silly facts to weigh the pros and cons of a candidate. That's work. Screw that noise. Why bother when the answers are right there? For real information, consult TV commercials, speeches containing never broken promises, and debates full of sweet sugar coated answers. Both candidates sound so good. Its just so darn hard to make a decision. Changing Undecided Voter's mind is easy, but watch out, that bird flying by the window is starting to look mighty presidential.

Voter #3, The Realist. The Realist's options suck, and frankly, its a little depressing. But why waste that college education on therapy? That's what Slashdot is for. Instead, the Realist is going to read the articles, weigh the pros and cons, and look past the bullshit. The Realist might actually listen to what you have to say, but be careful, I smell a wikipedia argument coming.

Ah, that was fun. So what have we learned? Well, assuming you're a voter... Nothing. Just enjoy the nerdily hillarious dumbest password since "password".

- Mike

That is 2 Ls