Tall Angry Monster

Road Trippin Balls

07/22/2008 4:44 PM

I promised more of my zany adventures, but I've been lazy for a while. Imagine that. I finally got around to chronicalling some of them in comic form. And now Rant Variety. So here's the scoop. In the last 3 weeks I've driven out west twice. Once with my family, and once to see the Foo Fighters rock the legendary Red Rocks Venue. Let me tell you from personal experience, there's nothing more exilerating than 14 hours of corn fields. Iowa and Nebraska officially suck.

At some point we pulled into some random T-Bell in farm country to grub up. I kid you not, the entire place was full of 3 toothed, overall wearing, barn smellin' folk. Better still, the bathroom was of the single occupant variety, complete with a line of pre-soiled looking gentleman around the corner. I won't haunt you with the gruesome details, but let's just say, it was an unpleasant experience.

You may have noticed that I've taken an interest in mildly humerous signs. I'm not sure why, but maybe don't be a dick about it. Just go with it. That being said, all of the signs I've put in the road trip comics (although redrawn) actually exist. It warmed my heart to know that somewhere out there, a "Sacred Heart Liquor" store exists. Honorable mentions not seen in the comics include:
"Boulevard Ave" (Creativity at its finest!)
"Caution Low Flying Airplanes" (Oh Shit! Duck!)
"Cheap Drinks, Lousy Food". Trust me, that's no joke. My colon is still punishing me for that burger.

I also rather enjoyed the stop light, on a gravel highway...50 miles from any intersection.

All that aside, Colorado was pretty much awesome. We spent a couple of days hiking through the rockies, seeing things few nerds have (Like actual sunlight). It pretty much rocked the core of my geeky little world. Unfortunately, some of our nerdy brethren couldn't quite handle it. 2 never made it, 2 dropped out after 1 day of hiking, and 1 was lame enough to check his iPhone for reception in the Rockies. Miraculously he got a signal at some point, enabling him to successfully check his email. Who does that?

So as I and Metro Ken were sitting at the setting of what felt like a Coors commercial, our wiener friend dropped a bomb shell on us, in the ever popular form of "I have good news and bad news". Actual words from his mouth:
"The bad news is the Foo Fighters show was cancelled, but the good news is I get cell phone reception"

I don't even have words to express rage coursing through my veins at that moment. But hey, it's cool, its not like I drove 1,000 miles for an escape from e-mail followed by a bad ass concert. So I'll keep it classy with a simple, FUCK YOU Dave Grohl.

- Mike

That is 2 Ls