Tall Angry Monster

Delta Time Continuum

05/20/2008 7:36 AM

A couple months ago, I took some vacation time in Costa Rica. Overall, it was a good time. I was fortunate enough to finally have a need for Pepto-Bismol, stayed in the most ghetto hostel ever, and even saw the end of the Pan American highway. I had a few zany adventures, but I actually felt pretty good on my way out, despite the $20 "leaving" tax (read: bend over).

Being a fairly tall guy, my flight home, was cramped to say the least. I'm pretty sure the airline legroom standard was designed by gnomes and misanthropists, especially when the jack ass in front of you decides his seat is going to recline whether your legs are there or not. But if nothing else, the stewards were ridiculously over friendly. There ass kissery made me feel a nice warm fuzzy amongst my deep anger for the fecal matter in the seat in front of me.

After a 3 hour bus ride, a cab, 2 flights, and a trip through customs, I finally arrived back in the U.S. Smiling that I only had one more 3 hour bus ride, and a 5 hour drive left in my adventure, I eagerly awaited my luggage. Then things took a turn for the worse. My Costa Rican liquor bottles had been smashed, my clothes covered in alcohol (maybe that's not so unusual) and belongings had clearly been rifled through for now missing valuables. Speaking with Deltaís Baggage Claim department, was less than helpful.

After being given the not so metaphorical finger, I gave corporate a call. To call them "Useless" would be an understatement of epic proportions. Apparently if Delta's employees steal or break your shit, itís not their problem. In fact, its so not their problem, that a simple, "I'm sorry sir" can't possibly be uttered. What's even more fun, is their baggage claim department can only be contacted via mail or fax. That's right, a corporation that's capable of flying to 160 countries, scheduling massive flight grids, and purchasing tickets on-line...still hasn't figured out email, or the FUCKING TELEPHONE.

Since the baggage claim department seemed to be stuck in a 70's time vortex, I decided to try another route. After a friendly email to the BBB, and a couple months of processing time, I received an interesting call. The crankiest ass voice I've ever heard, offered "Sincere Apologies" regarding the incident... even though it was in no way their fault. But considering they agreed to give me a reimbursement, I don't care. I win, kiss my ass Delta.

- Mike

That is 2 Ls