Tall Angry Monster

Call of Duty:Annoying Warfare

03/24/2008 7:36 AM

If you didn't catch it, this is a Call of Duty reference. I'm not going to knock the game too much, because its I'd probably make babies with it, if I could. But like any game, some idiot managed to sneak in a few craptacular decisions.

The single player is nearly flawless. I only have one complaint here. Infinite guys come in a lot of sections of the game, which makes it pointless to shoot any of them. It severely detracts from otherwise stellar realism.

Multiplayer, on the other hand, has several issues which evoke an insatiable gamer rage. Unavoidably, a few Halo bitches have spilled over into the realm of COD. This nuisance nullifies any usefulness the headset once provided. But what REALLY angers me is 'Martyrdom'.

What sad sack of shit dreamt up this retarded ability? If you're not familiar, a player with the 'Martydom' ability automatically shits a grenade when they die. Not only is this annoying as hell, but this single concept destroys the game's strategy and reality. Wanted to rush the other team's flank? Oh guess not, because there's grenade pooping bitches everywhere. Got a kill, now sit and wait for his disturbing bowels to explode. Think you've managed to survive that torrent of bullets? Too bad, because Assy McFukTard and his teammates pooped a minefield of grenades.

If this wasn't enough of a taint stain, some jack ass managed to design a handful of the dumbest maps I've ever seen. Sure there's some great one's, but you're not getting through the day without playing in Sniper's Heaven. I'm just throwing this out there, but maybe, just maybe, helicopters, airstrikes, open shooting lanes, trip mines, and radar give Campy VonDoucheBag a bit too much of an advantage.

Eh, don't get me wrong, I love the game, but seriously 75% of my deaths are from grenades, helicopters, airstrikes and sniper bullets. All I'm saying is, there's nothing like a nice soothing shotgun blast to the face once in a while. No?

-Mike

That is 2 Ls