Tall Angry Monster

Screw De beers

02/21/2008 7:36 PM

If you hadn't noticed, we're trying out a new artist. I'm sure everyone will miss our delightful stick people, but for as crappy as they look, they're still taking a long time to draw. Maybe I just haven't mastered the wonder that is MS Paint yet. Hopefully this will mean more punctual comics. Now on to the important issue...

What the hell is with women and diamonds? Its a fucking rock. Not some revitalizing zit cream, not a religious icon, its a big sparkly. Until 100 years ago, no one even cared about them. Then De Beers comes along, and everybody wants one, because they're told to. Somehow they're now this beautiful tradition and eveyone is blind to it's giant evil roots. Is it ironic that the 'symbol of your love' also happens to cause death and suffering across an entire continent, or just sick?

For those of you finding 'bloodless stones'. Good fucking luck. Its nearly impossible to verify that as 90% of the worlds diamond's are sold by one company. And even if you're succesful, you're still encouraging more women to buy overpriced shiny pebbles. Its a lot like grade school. We played with Barbies, G.I. Joes, or whatever, and as soon as one kid had the latest Malibu Stacy, everyone else needed one to.

And even if you don't have a problem buying from an evil company. Why would you spend insane amounts of money on a stone that looks EXACTLY the same as one that's manufactured. Seriously, even experts can rarely tell the difference these days. And if you say it doesn't have the same history, so help me God, I will internet bitch slap you. That history is war faring, nazi supporting, greed.

All I'm saying is, if you had to chose between two IDENTICAL cars, one of which is manufactured by the Gummi Bears, and the other by baby eating nazi's... Would you chose the vehicle crafted by the kick ass Gummi Bears at HALF the price, or the blood stained ride forged in the pits of hell by Hitler VonTaintStain?

...Am I the only one who doesn't understand the diamond appeal?

-Mike

That is 2 Ls